So I'm having a fun recital on May 16th and have decided to have each student tell a music joke before they play their song. I only can remember a few, and I have 16 students, so please contribute. (dumb is good)
Here's what I have:
What's the difference between a violin and a trampoline? You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline!
How do you get two violins to play in tune? Shoot one of them! (I don't think I'll use that one though. Sometimes the truth is a bit....harsh.)
Please, please help!
Contributors will get leftover refreshment cookies. :)
14 comments:
One of Katie's favorite ones is "How can you tell if a stage is level?" "Drool comes out of both sides of a viola player's mouth."
Why do some violinists use a viola case?
They don't want their violin stolen.
Why does the orchestra tune to the oboe?
It doesn't work the other way around.
My fingers are like lightning...
They never strike in the same place twice.
What is 'perfect pitch'?
Throwing your violin in the dumpster without hitting the rim.
Was sind die drei Lagen auf der Bratsche?
Erste Lage, Notlage, und Niederlage.
(Sorry, I copied this one from the internet)
How do you make a bandstand?
Put their chairs away!
Why couldn't the bell keep a secret?
It always tolled!
In what key was "Exploring Caves with No Flashlight" written?
C sharp or B flat!
Why do bees hum?
Because they don't know the words!
A great musician left a note for his wife that said: Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a minuet!
Thank you folks! you've been a great audience! I'll be here all week...
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
AUGHHH!! The PAIN! The PAIN!!!
An obtuse joke:
Q. How many violists does to take to tune a viola?
A. Nobody Knows.
If you throw a watermelon and a music conductor down a cliff at the same time, which lands first?
Who cares?
Here's one to go with Heather's:
What do you get when you throw a piano on an army base?
A flat major!
Why should you never try to drive a roof nail with a violin?
You might bend the nail!
What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can't tuna fish!!
What is the difference between a viola and a onion?
No one cries when you chop up a viola!
This one is dumb- What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?
Root position chords!
This one is true- How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Twenty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I can do that!"
The Liszt goes on and on! Ha!
How many conductors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
NO one knows, no one was watching.
(That german joke was actually kinda funny, dad.)
In cello vs. cellist, who always wins?
The cello--it always has the pin at the end.
(sorry, I made that one up)
Why is the violin such a romantic instrument?
It never goes anywhere without its beau.
(made that one up, too. Sorry again)
I always knew I had a funny family!
Thanks so much -- I still need a few more so keep them coming.
Thanks!!
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